Welcome to the first ever game review for Boldly Going Somewhere! Everyone has their own system for rating games, but let’s take a look at ours. We’ll be looking at the following criteria:

  • Graphics
  • Sound
  • Playability
  • Re-playability
  • Story

Each of these criteria will be assigned points based on a range of values: 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) in increments of 0.5. At the end of the review we’ll multiply the final score by 2 for a percentage and then round it up if necessary, because we’re nice like that. Simple enough?

Ok, now here’s where it gets a little different. We’re going to go by a sort of “high school” grading system as a basis. For example, where “Story” is concerned, a game like Tetris (NES) would get a “0”, where as a game such as Donkey Kong would get a “5” because it throws in minimal effort in terms of story. Don’t nerd rage yet though – we are also including the ability for extra credit points (yes, it goes to 11). So in this example, Tetris would clean up in the “playability” and “re-playability” departments.

For the most part we will be sticking to newer releases, unless we feel like doing a retro review. Should that happen we’ll adjust the scale accordingly for the technical merits of the era of the game. And as time goes on we may tinker with this format a bit or provide additional insight into our methods, but for now let’s get to our first review!

Titanfall (Xbox One Version)

Get in me if you want to live.

Get in me if you want to live.

If you’re reading this, then it is likely not the first Titanfall review that you’ve seen. This game is big. Really big. Titan-ic even? This game is Respawn’s inaugural publication and Microsoft’s first real post-launch salvo into the next gen console war. Needless to say it has carried an enormous amount of hype and marketing with it. The question is how well can it hold up to the pressure? Let’s get down to it.

Graphics – 10

Yes, a 10. While there’s been some contention over the resolution of certain next gen titles (like Tomb Raider and Killzone Shadow Fall) for both consoles, Titanfall more than meets the graphical requirements for the Xbox One. The pilots and mechs are very well designed and the worlds that become your combat zones all have design and a feel to them that remain unique throughout the game. As far as I can tell, the only time graphical issues ever arise are when you’ve got someone with a slow connection dragging things down. So that’d be a playability issue. Not a graphical one. Our site, our rules.

Sound – 10

The combat sounds are, well “combat-y”. It’s when they aren’t present and it becomes eerily silent that you’ll start to worry. You will hear a Titan coming, no problem. But a pilot? If he/she has a stealth loadout then you’d best pray that they screw up before you get melee’d to death. So from the Titans dropping from orbit, to the whizzing of bullets, to the crackling of your own neck being snapped by an enemy, the sounds in this game are all very much what they need to be.

Playability – 11

OK, pay attention. This game is not, I repeat, not Call of Duty with mechs. So it’s made by the same people? So they both have guns and battlefields? Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda were made by the same person and both feature magical power-ups and a final confrontation with a monster king. Are they they same? The physics behind pilot movement in this game are absolutely insane. The original Halo made FPS games on consoles a fun, playable experience. Titanfall has refined this and basically made every player Spider-Man with high-powered ordinance. That is, until you call down a freaking suit of armor. Then you’re Iron Man. Like I said, it’s insane, but it is extremely fun.

Re-playability – 11

Ever play a game where you say “just one more match” at 10pm and suddenly it’s 2am? That’s pretty much how a session of Titanfall will go. Re-playability was clearly the focus and it was not wasted. If you enjoy a multiplayer shooter then you should enjoy this game, repeatedly. If you don’t, then I have no idea why you’ve gotten this far in the review. The hype machine has been in full gear, and there’s no way that you can’t know that it’s an online only, multiplayer FPS.

Now, in addition to the 9 main game maps (which is a mix of attrition (deathmatch) and hardpoint domination missions), there are 6 maps that do not appear in the main story of the game, as well as 3 additional gameplay modes, not counting the variety/random mode. Every map can be used for every mode leaving you with 75 variations to play through. There is of course an achievement for that, but even if there were not, you’d probably want to play through them all anyways.

Story – 2

I have played through this game’s “story” mode multiple times and I will likely do so again. Tonight even. That said, I’m still not really sure what it’s all about. Something having to do with big space oil and the rebellion against them and their refineries? I have gotten to the point where I’ve started to make up my own names for the characters (such as Filet O’Bish and Budget Elba) and have constructed insane storylines when briefed for a mission. One such story explains that Macallen (McMuffin) is burying his 12 cats in a funeral cairn when you first meet him. All of these have been better than anything that has actually transpired on screen between the 7 or so actual characters. The minimum for the story would have been 5, but the delivery was so, so painfully bad that points must be deducted.

Total – 88% (44)

Sarah Jessica Parkour

Sarah Jessica Parkour

Bottom Line:

If you have an Xbox One, you should buy this game. It’s very early in the console life cycle and is arguably the best game that you find on the system. If you have an Xbox One and don’t like shooters then I can’t help you. You bought a console from a company who’s gained enormous profits from the Halo and Gears of War franchises. What kinds of games were you expecting Microsoft to focus on?